Emotions, or Lack Thereof

Posted on Wed Jan 31st, 2024 @ 3:52am by Lieutenant Evelyn Stewart & Captain Stryvek

0 words; about a 1 minute read

Mission: Year One: Whispers in the Wind
Location: USS Moore - Evelyn Stewart's Quarters
Timeline: MD: 018 2317 hrs

Frustrated and out of breath, Evelyn rolled out of bed after pushing away from Stryvek. She had planned to have him stay the night but the lack of an emotional connection while making love overtook any pleasure she felt and she could feel her anger rising before she left him in her bed.

Fuming, she grabbed her kimono robe and put in on and walked into the living area without a word. She headed straight for the small table she kept her private stock of alcohol on and poured herself a glass of bourbon, taking a large sip to try and smother her growing anger that she could feel bubbling up inside of her as she started to pace.

Stryvek rose out of bed and was about to set about his meditation routine. However, the sound or lack of sound of his mate prevented him from doing so. Sometimes quiet belied a deeper truth, one of anger and Stryvek knew that. He donned his robe, one that was black and had Vulcan glyphs on it. He strode into the living area and saw that Evelyn had already begun her day apace. "Is there something you wish to discuss?"

Evelyn swirled her bourbon in her glass as she desperately tried to control the anger she could feel building inside of her. “What is there to discuss?” She asked in a surly tone before taking another large sip, hoping to numb her emotions.

"I do not know. However, your body language and demeanor indicates that something is on your mind, and what's more you wish to get it off your mind. So, I will restate my question. Is there something you wish to discuss?" Stryvek responded dryly he had gotten used to the fact that it took some prodding to get her to speak her mind.

Evelyn just downed the rest of her drink and shook her head as she poured another. “I don’t know, maybe you should order me.” She snapped with sarcasm, turning to the Vulcan. She was still angry he ordered her back to the ship from the colony at its moment of crisis. She felt her place was on the surface, helping get people to the bunkers. Instead Stryvek had called her back to the ship once she found Greco. She felt guilty, especially since she knew deep down she was recalled had nothing to do with the ship or its separation.

For two days she felt her anger building at not only Stryvek but everyone and everything, especially about the attack. Her anger turning into an intense rage that even she was surprised so far had managed to contained. The stress to keep herself civil and in control was overwhelming her body. Her argument with Remy earlier in the gym about Stryvek only making matters worse. She had hoped making love would relief that stress and give her the emotional release she hoped for. Instead, the stoic Vulcan with his aloof demeanor and lack of emotional connection only added to her frustration and she could feel that control beginning to fray as it slowly broke.

"I will not order you to tell me about your feelings. That is not something that should be ordered. However, I will tell you that if you do not tell me how you are feeling, then I cannot assist you as your partner. So, it will be up to you tell or not to tell." Stryvek replied as he made his way into his living room. He sat in the center of the room by the small table. He crossed his legs and began to prepare the meditation lamp that was on the table.

The sight of Stryvek settling in for his meditation instead of focusing on her and their conversation, combined with his seemingly dismissive comments, pushed Evelyn's temper over the edge and her control snapped. "Damn Vulcans! You are so wrapped up in your own arrogance you cannot see how selfish you are." She shouted at him, letting her long held prejudices and bias against Vulcans come to the surface. "I should have stayed on that planet. I should have been helping those people. But no, I was ordered back to the ship." She said such disgust she nearly spit the words, "typical hypocritical Vulcan absurd logic." she muttered more to herself in Vulcan, there being no actual curse in the language to describe her thoughts on her captain's justification.

Stryvek raised an eyebrow and softly said "Fascinating! This ship was entering a combat scenario at red alert. Logic, and Starfleet procedure dictates that the best helmsman take the helm. On this ship that would be you." He allowed the logic of his argument which of course was sound to seep in and take hold in her mind. Stryvek also sensed that she perhaps wanted more. So, rather than respond to the ill made jibes at his people he added the slight confession. "Aside for that I would have thought you would have inferred that my caring for you being my mate wanted to get you out of harms way. Surely a Human would have acted the same..."

Stewart just shook her head in disgust at the man before knocking back the rest of her bourbon. She went back and forth with thought if should she pour another and what her words to the Vulcan would be. “Stryvek,” she started softly, gently pushing the tumbler across the desk away from her. She was too angry to even drink in the moment. She turned her attention to the man sitting on the floor, arms folder over her chest as she gently leaned back against the edge of the desk.

“Don’t presume to tell me how a human, or any emotional being for that matter, would have acted.” She said with cold condescension despite the rage inside causing her to shake slightly. “You cannot possibly fathom what I am feeling. You are a Vulcan. You are incapable of love, passion or any emotion. Well no, that’s not true,” She conceded as she ranted at the Vulcan. “You use logic as a shield to hide behind with your pride and your jealous possessiveness. Typical Vulcan behavior.” She added with disgust before going back to pour herself another drink, feeling more in control now. “But that’s fine. That’s not what you are here for anyway. At least I’m honest about it.” She added with a shrug as she took a long, healthy sip. Evelyn was certain that Stryvek knew of her history with other men and particularly with Remy, how passionately they loved each other and how she still felt about the executive deep down, letting the captain read what he wanted from her statement.

Stryvek cocked an eyebrow and exhaled sharply through his nose. He had about enough of it, all of it. If he were not Vulcan he would have lashed out at her days ago and decided to end this, whatever it was. "I know your feelings for other men. I have seen them in your mind during the bonding. I know of your love for Remy. You are wrong when you say that Vulcans hide their feelings under logic. We experience them and simply process them differently. It was emotions that brought you back to this ship after the explosion, and it is emotions that allow me to say the following. This is your way out... You chose to save me, you chose to remain my mate. However, I cannot allow this to proceed. Believe it or not Vulcans want mates who want to be there, and who love them." He spoke evenly and with little emotion in his voice. He simply saw this as a means to an end.

Evelyn ignored the sentiment in Stryvek's words. Under normal circumstances she would take them for what they were, a Vulcan way of admitting his feelings for her. But these were not ordinary circumstances. The terrorist attack had left her angry, beyond all reason. What more she was drunk. She wanted to lash out and hurt, it didn't matter who it was and it might as well be Stryvek. Instead she scoffed and looked at the man with incredulous amusement. "You think this is love?" She asked sarcastically before giving a dry laugh and a slight shake of her head, denying her own natural feelings. "I told you I wasn't going to commit myself to you."

Even as she said it she knew deep down she wasn't ready to walk away from whatever it was they had. She was angry, but not entirely blind to what she was doing or and was in the wrong. She focused on what Styrvek said about Remy and her feelings for him instead and felt her anger flare again as she glared at him. "Get out." Was the only thing she could say. Her tone as harsh as it was bitter. "I'll have my needs met elsewhere." She added as she finished her glass and pushed it aside on the desk, actually done with the alcohol now.

Stryvek stood up and made sure his robes were secure. "Indeed you have made it known that you would not commit, and yet you have. You have all these other choices and yet you are still here. You should know that one day everyone that you keep on the proverbial line, everyone that you won't commit to will leave. Then you must consider what is next. You are always free to do as you wish. I will give you two days to consider what you and I have said here. If I here from you we will talk further, if not I will initiate the unbonding. Remember that the choice is yours."

As he spoke Stryvek had begun to walk toward the door. He in a flash he realized the flaw in his logic and tapped his comm badge. "Computer initiate a sight to sight transport. Beam me to my quarters." He waited a moment and considered all that had happened. In the moment he realized that it may be time for Evelyn to grow up. "Energize..." The transporter effect took hold of the Captain and a moment later he was safely ensconced in his quarters.

Stewart watched the beam out, as furious as ever. With a heavy sigh of frustration, she silently just stormed back into her bedroom.

 

RSS Feed